There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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