I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
