i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
