Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
This is the high leading the old right now
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
