I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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