my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
