The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm like, not good at living.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
