You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
