i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
You can't special order awesome
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
