It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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