My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
