You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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