I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
