No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
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He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
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the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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