I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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