Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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