I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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