as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Found your dick twin last night
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
