I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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