I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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