Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Randomize
