I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
