Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
