i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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