What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
