Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
