We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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