Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize