Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
