just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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