Betty ford says i'm here all night
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
