You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
