it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
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