We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I checked into jail on foursquare
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
