I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
