You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize