Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I am naked and annoyed.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
