I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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