guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
