Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
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