i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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