I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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