I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I stole a fireplace last night.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
