is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
