Welp...herpes.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
