FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
