took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
