Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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