Clothes are such an inconvenience.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
