So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
