Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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