No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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