i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
