Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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