You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is