She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I think i got beer on your cat.
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