He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
