the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
