last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize