I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Are we still banned from the library?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
