Tell her she can't have a vagina
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
only you would photoshop your dick
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We're too hungover to prance.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
