he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize