I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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