I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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